Facts vs. Stories

I'm trying to remember to observe the stories I tell myself.

For example, yesterday, I just couldn't believe that a relative of mine had no consideration for my schedule at all. She asked me to take her to the airport but despite my asking numerous times, would not give me an exact time to meet. She also gave me a non-existent address to meet at. I drove around and around in frustration looking for the address. Finally I just parked and called her. I was incredulous when she told me she wouldn't be at the meeting place for another hour!!

Okay, so that is the story. Here are the facts. I waited an hour and twenty minutes. I couldn't find the address. I experienced negative emotions in my chest area.

When I stick to the facts its so easy to see how ego boosting the story is. In the story I am a victim. Poor me, my relative was irresponsible and inconsiderate. Obviously, in addition to being the victim I'm also superior to her because I would never do that to someone.

The facts alone do not bolster the ego. In reality, I am neither superior nor inferior to my relative. The emotion was an energy field that I experienced in my chest. I observed the emotion and allowed it to be. The facts are freeing!

Mindfulness

"Mindfulness is paying attention to what is happening around 

and inside of us each moment, without judging or attempting to change anything."

Ian Gawler & Paul Beson (Meditation: An In-Depth Guide)

What I love most about Zentangle is its meditative quality. When I am truly focused on "one stroke at a time," the past and future recede and I am present. My noisy, chattering mind settles down and I can enjoy the moment.

I couldn't ask for more... A creative outlet and a meditative practice all in one!!!

Diva's Challenge #73

Present Moment Reminder

The birds they sing at the break of day,

Start again, 

I heard them say,

Don't dwell on what has passed away,

Or what is yet to be...

-Leonard Cohen

Diva's Challenge #72

Mistakes

The black spot in the center of this ZIA (zentangle inspired art) was a mistake. A few weeks after I made the mistake I revisited this page in my notebook and started working around the mistake. Since my mind had already labeled this drawing as a mistake, the pressure was off.

I just love how it turned out.

 It makes me wonder what else I have overlooked, disregarded, given up on...

Everyday Activities

I think it might be a good idea for me to start practicing presence during my everyday routines. I am able to cook four-course meals, do laundry, clean the house and get ready for bed all without ever coming fully into the present moment. While my body works on auto-pilot I am lost in (stale, repetitive, uncreative, often negative,) thinking.

Last week at work, I sat across the table from a little girl and noticed her eyes darting back and forth from my left ear to my right ear. I was a little perturbed... what was she looking at? It wasn't until I got home that I noticed I was wearing two different earrings! Guess I was somewhere else during my morning routine that day...

The more present we are, the more peace and serenity we have in our lives. Everyday routines offer a great opportunity for practicing presence.

Cease Cherishing Opinions

 An opinion is just a bundle of thoughts. When I look back, I can see how some of my deeply held opinions have changed over the years. How can I be so sure that the opinions I cherish now wont evolve with time?

When I recognize how fluid opinions can be, I can learn to give other people space to have their own opinions. I can step back and see that my opinions and those of others are just thoughts. They are not connected with our true essence, our source.

The more I derive my sense of self from my opinions, the more I feel threatened by differing opinions of others. When another person rejects my opinion, it can feel as though they are rejecting my very self! When my "self" is threatened, I instantly feel overcome with the urge to defend and attack. I need to make myself right and that means you must be wrong.

But what if I can just accept my opinion and also detach from it at the same time? Then, when another has a differing opinion, I can stay present and observe my reactions. I don't need to defend my opinion at all. I don't need to change anyone's opinion. Through non-reaction I create space. Space for opinions to be and space for love and acceptance...

Non-reaction

Non-reaction to the ego in others is the best way to move through difficulties in a relationship.

When we react based on emotion and fear, we feed and strengthen the ego in ourselves and others. As an alternative we can become deeply present and observe the ego in action. We can recognize the behavior of the other as stemming from the ego, and we can forgive. We can recognize our own reactions as stemming from the ego's fear of diminishment and death. If need be, we can establish firm boundaries without creating further drama in the relationship.